A few weeks ago, my 6-year-old avid swimmer screamed, “I’M DROWNING,” while doggy paddling in 8 feet of water at our local pool.  I watched as the eager lifeguard blew her whistle, jumped in the pool, and fanned a red floatation device his way. Once the lifeguard got to him, he smirked a secretive smile that read, “Oh, that’s how this works.” He was curious about what a lifeguard does and how they can save people, and while that wasn’t the best way to figure it out, it was the path he chose that day. 

When I became a mom, I assumed my primary role was to impart my values, vision, and worldviews to my children— I hadn’t considered that I might spend the rest of my life learning from them instead. As my kids have gotten older, I’ve been surprised to see how often I sit as a student of their burgeoning wisdom, self-assurance, and humility. 

Children Expose Our Pride 

Children can be blissfully oblivious and very rarely embarrassed. They aren’t born concerned with how others perceive them; they just exist precisely how they want when they want. The incident at the pool left me on an emotional tightrope, apologizing to lifeguards and wondering if neighbors question my parenting and judgment. I was responding to the situation with a bruised ego and exposed pride, and I expected my kids to follow suit, but they didn’t. 

The truth is, children’s blissful qualities afford them an unarming way of exposing our prideful nature. Somewhere along life’s journey, a few of us picked up a cloak of pride that makes us feel like our lives must appear all too perfect to be real. We fear the exposure of our humanity. Children remind us that perfection is boring and unattainable.  

Children Teach Us About Perspective

As the lifeguard pulled my smirking child out of the pool and walked him over to me, it was clear that we were both about to walk away from the same incident with two completely different perspectives about what happened. 

From his perspective, he was never really in danger because he knows how to swim, but now he knows a bit more about what lifeguards do. He saw this as a successful experiment, and now he can tell his friends that a lifeguard “saved his life at the pool.” I saw it all from a different vantage point with a weight and consideration that go well beyond his years and ability to comprehend. There was no amount of discipline or “talking to” that would truly allow him to understand my perspective and vice versa. He reminded me of the obvious, he’s not a parent, and I’m not a curious 6-year-old. 

Acknowledging and responding to different perspectives is key. 

Children Seek Out Joy 

As we walked home from the pool, I noticed my head hung low while my kids were walking with a joyful pep in their step that didn’t match the circumstances. While I still attest that fake drowning is a no-no and goes in the “must never do again” category, at that moment, I realized that the walk of shame from the pool was more for me than it was for them. They were patient in showing me humility, forgiveness, and joy in action, and that walk of shame reminded me that messy moments make life memorable. 

We rarely remember the perfect moments; we surely don’t learn much from them, and I’ve never blogged about them. The days that are a perfect mess are the best days. We’ve been to the same pool hundreds of forgettable times. But I’ll not soon forget this day or his sly smirk as he paddled out of the pool. This messy day is etched in, and it was best taught by an oblivious yet joyful kid.